It all took place on a dark, Thursday evening, in Kumasi Ghana. The other two interns and I were peacefully doing our homework (actually really focused) when all of a sudden a bat-like creature flew across the room. We weren’t exactly sure what it was at first. Was it a bird? Was it a moth?? An orangutang?!??!
Okay that’s a little much. However, upon closer examination I quickly came to realize that it was in fact a FLYING COCKROACH!
Not just any cockroach. THE cockroach we had been hunting since midday Wednesday. For the sake of simplicity, I’ll call him Dracula. Now Dracula was a sly little creature. Last Wednesday just after noon, was my first interaction with this unpleasant acquaintance. He decided to make himself known as I was moving a piece of furniture. After a few moments of involuntary twister and distorted furniture, Dracula had vanished into the unknown…only to make a dramatic dracula-esque reappearance the next evening...
As mentioned, the three of us were sitting on the couch when Dracula made his first appearance. He had come back…for blood…
We couldn’t risk his escape again, so we immediately devised a battle plan which consisted of me running over and bracing for impact, Christian inheriting the jester’s role and Natalie screaming.
It did not go well.
The roach flew at me full speed and escaped into my room. So we followed: Christian laughing and Natalie following at a safe distance offering emotional support. (?)
Dracula and I met again, and right as I was about to snatch him in a paper towel, he charged me again and skirted away. Not only did he swerve me (two times now) but he made it a point to purposefully scurry directly across my pillow before disappearing again. After another tussle, he scuttled out of the room and UNDER THE DOOR into the bathroom. This was the moment I thought I got ‘em. However, as soon as I opened the door, he vanished. Once again.
(Me throughout various stages of hunting Dracula)
So basically, we gave up and went back to our homework and figured Dracula would show himself to us the next day. At this point, a friend had asked me to FaceTime, so my mind was on other things. As I picked up my phone and walked into the other room. There was Dracula. Standing 3 feet directly in front of the door. This was not a drill.
My poor friend on FaceTime was greeted with me screaming at my internship Natalie to “bring in the cylindrical prison!” (A flour sift by day, a Dracula/cockroach catcher by night). This time, we got him. Christian had gone to bed at this point, but Natalie cheered for me from a safe distance of 30 feet away.
Things were great. I began talking to my friend on FaceTime and started to forget about the whole thing. Until… the scurry. A little scratch here, a little sound there. It appeared as though Dracula had awaken from his daze and was trying to release himself from captivity. I tried to ignore it, but the noise became increasingly more frequent…. and disconcerting…
So I crept over to investigate, but before I got there… shiver me timbers… DRACULA HAD ESCAPED HIS CYLINDRICAL PRISON!!! He WAS CRAWLING ON THE OUTSIDE AND WAS ABOUT TO MAKE A BREAK FOR IT.
Using my Steve Irwin danger assessment skills and a heaping dose of common sense, I turned the container right-side up, and DRACULA PART 2?!? JUMPED OUT AT ME AND RAN AWAY.
In that exact moment I learned two things.
1) There were two Draculas and
2) I had just been bamboozled by cockroaches.
Dracula #2 had come for a covert rescue mission, and tricked ME into releasing his comrade from prison! BRILLIANT! Because then they BOTH GOT AWAY!!!!
Immediately they scurried in different directions. This was now war. After literally 35 minutes of hunting, searching, furniture askew, flashlights and generous portions of bread crumbs as bait, I caught them both.
Now, even though bat-like cockroaches can be scary, I could never kill one, so I caught them in a way so I could release them outside. What I failed to remember was the fact that the house we are at has 2 German shepherd guard dogs that are let out to roam at night, and are unfriendly towards visitors (aka me & the Draculas). Overlooking this fact, I walk straight outside onto the balcony and immediately hear a deep growl. Then scuffling of running footsteps up the stairs to the balcony.
Needless to say, I ran for my life. I left little Dracula in his prison on the edge of the balcony and raced inside. Dracula's wife is still inside under a bowl; but their forbidden love will find a way.
After I got inside, I needed to wash my feet from running around chasing cockroaches. I then realized that the water pump had been turned off, and we couldn’t turn it back on because that’s where the dogs were roaming. So I washed my feet in the sink and called it a night.
Now that is the tale of two cockroaches.
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UPDATE:
2 days later.
I FORGOT ABOUT DRACULAS WIFE UNDER THE BOWL IN THE SECOND BEDROOM!
After I realized this, I ran in the room to try and let her outside. I slid a piece of paper under the bowl, and while I will admit, it did look a bit precarious at the time, I went forward with it. I even decided not to stand up and squat/shuffle across the floor to try and keep her from moving too much.
Despite my efforts, Dracula #2 quickly started to crawl out of the bottom of the bowl and scared me so bad that I threw the glass bowl and shattered it on the ground. Without missing a beat, Dracula #2 got away. AGAIN.
In a fit of fury, I grabbed the closest cup to me, dumped the water out and caught the little monster for the 865th time and finally, (made someone else) release him outside.
The end.